I was in my first week at work when I spotted a familiar looking white-and-blue printout on my desk.
I grabbed a sheet of white paper and printed it.
It was my first paper in print, I thought.
“I was so excited,” I told myself.
I’ve got this awesome job!
I’d already started a few hours earlier to print a batch of documents for the office.
My wife, a copywriter, was about to start her first day of work when she got the call from my boss.
He’d found the perfect printout of the paper, and was going to use it to print off a batch for his clients.
I could only imagine what he’d say when he saw it, but the only way I could help him was to print it.
I knew I had to get the paper out of my printer, and I had no idea how.
So I did what anyone would do: I used a computer.
The first thing I did was check to see if I could use a printer that could print the same type of paper I used to print my original.
Then I found the best printer I could afford for my printer: the Staples PCS 600XL.
It has a standard printer, so it could print my new paper at a fraction of the cost of other printers, but it was a little slow.
I went back and checked to see whether my new printer could print this type of printer, too.
I found it couldn’t.
It had a problem with the ribbon cable, and it was taking too long to print.
I tried another printer.
It worked, but there was a problem: the ribbon was broken.
I emailed Staples to let them know, but they didn’t respond.
It turns out my printer’s ribbon cable was defective.
When Staples sent me the repair kit, I took a look at it and realised that there was one little screw that didn’t fit, and one little piece of ribbon that had been loose.
The screws and ribbon pieces weren’t working properly.
So Staples had to send me a new ribbon cable that was about a millimetre wider and two millimetres longer than the one I used.
The repair kit didn’t work, either, and the company decided to replace the defective ribbon cable.
But the problem wasn’t solved by replacing the defective cables.
I couldn’t find another printer that would print this exact type of document I wanted, so I had a second option: I printed out a new, larger ribbon cable and re-wired the printer.
I then had a paper I could print at a better rate, and Staples decided to give me a bonus if I returned the new ribbon for a refund.
But I still needed a paper that could be printed in the same way as the old ribbon cable: by a printer I owned.
I called Staples.
I told them I’d bought the new printer and it didn’t print the paper I needed.
“Sorry,” they said, “but we can’t print this one.”
I asked if they could print it again.
They said yes, but that they would need a new paper that I could get from Staples.
They offered to send it to Staples for me.
Staples is an online printer shop, and they could send the new paper I had purchased from Staples to Staples to print the new papers.
Staples wanted me to buy a printer from them.
I didn’t have a printer in my possession, but I’d been saving money on paper so I figured I could do the same thing.
I bought the Staples Printers PCS 700XL, a $1,499 laptop computer that’s capable of printing at 200 microns per inch (microns per pixel), or about one-thousandth of a millimeter.
I also had a $4,799 Samsung Chromebook Pro, which is capable of print at 60 microns/inch (60 microns pixel).
I went online to buy Staples PCSB 700XL from Staples, which retails for $1.49, and then emailed Staples.
Staples asked if I wanted to print an e-mail attachment.
Staples sent an attachment with the printer, which was a blank white box with the word “Print” printed on it.
Staples also sent a printer cord for me to use, which I attached to the Staples printer, plugged the printer into my computer, and opened the Staples app.
I pressed the Print button, and a new version of the printer window appeared.
Staples’ screen appeared.
It said I had the option to print something else, and that Staples had sent me a paper for printing.
I chose to print “My Papers.”
The printer then printed out “My Print.”
It said it was ready to print, and printed out my old documents and paper, too, so the old files were still on my computer.
I asked Staples if they were able to send the printer to Staples.
“No,” said Staples.